Processing my DAMN Ti

Since being typed as an ENFJ Jumper last year in Objective Personality, I’ve been trying to see and understand the ways in which my Demon Ti is manifesting in myself. It can often be difficult to see these patterns playing out in ourselves. Our mind does not want us to see the ways in which we are failing to cover our voids. Instead, we seek quick solutions that allow us to continue to avoid them instead. Undoing these mental blocks is a constant battle and can be draining, but over time we can begin to see how these patterns are forming and the ways in which we can finally see… it is that DAMN Ti again!

That DAMN Ti again!

Introverted Thinking (Ti) – The cognitive process (associated with making decisions which work for the self. Based on what I know and understand these decisions logically follow. Ti is a personal function. Learn more

Ti as Personal Discernment

I’ve recently been watching some of the videos on Meghan Levota’s channel to aid in my self discovery journey. As a fellow ENFJ, it has been really interesting for me to see the ways in which many of her thoughts are aligning with mine. It has been helping me to pull more of these patterns outside of myself and see the ways in which I need to start using and shaping my own Ti. I am thankful to Meghan for being so candid and open on her channel and I highly recommend her channel, especially for those of you with Demon Ti as well. ❤ Where my ENFJ brethren at?

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Meghan Levota

Meghan has been looking at her Ti from the angle of personal discernment. She is learning to develop her personal reasoning and judging process for herself and feeling confident in that area. I’ve noticed that I can sometimes struggle to feel confident in my decisions when they have not been validated by the tribe in some way. I desire to have at least one person I can check in with and trust to validate my thoughts and make sure I’m not too off base. There is a fear of simply making these decisions for myself without feeling like I have that support system to fall back on. (Dave and Shannon sometimes refer to this as having a “Frog in your pocket”).

The ability to judge well.

Definition of Discernment

When the decisions from my Ti are validated they can feel strong and I will continue to share them, but when others begin to question them, things can quickly devolve… This can create an almost fight or flight response in me where I will either push very hard for my thinking and make sure the other person accepts and sees my position or I can simply give up and not bother. This is a critical growth point for me. I need to learn to fight for my own sense of discernment while still allowing that to be challenged and questioned. I need to learn to be calm in these situations and not get so caught up in who is right and who is wrong. I don’t always have to be a winner or a loser, but I need to learn to accept that sometimes I will be the loser and that it is part of my growth journey to see past my personal attachment to my truth and reasons and see the bigger picture.

Losing is just part of the game

Meghan inspired me to make the following video where I am processing my Ti and some of the ways in which I’m seeing myself holding back by devaluing my own perspective, seeing it as disruptive, showing weakness, and fearing the spread of bad information. Please check it out and maybe even like/subscribe/comment. Maybe?

In this video I talk about how I can really struggle to feel confident in the moment with my Thinking. I really want to stop and process these things, but when I am meetings at work it can feel like they are moving so fast and I don’t have that luxury. I don’t want to disrupt the flow of the meetings for my own processing. I don’t want to make a group conversation about me. However, I need to learn that I might not be the only one struggling and that admitting I am having trouble can often help others and myself be more engaged and productive.

My Perspective? Who? Me?

I often approach things from the perspective of my personal opinion doesn’t matter. The truth does, but how do I know that my truth is the truth? I can see so many truths out there, so many ways of forming an opinion based on all the disparate evidence out there. Everyone has their own perspective. No wonder we are divided! So instead I seek to find things we can align on. What are the connection points between us? I seek this out instead of looking inward to what makes sense to me. I seem to naturally move towards this type of information within the De (shared information) realm rather than simply trying to make sense of all of it for myself. It is similar to the idea of thinking to yourself, “the world doesn’t need another opinion, it needs unity.” So, I seek to understand the opinions of others and whether they make sense rather than simply forming them all on my own. I am sorting through the noise to find the truth rather than seeking it out for myself.

The world doesn’t need another opinion, it needs unity.

some ej probably

Often this approach does work and help others. I’m helping them find ways in which they can connect with others. I’m adapting to the information as it is being presented and understanding how I can make sense of it, but am I really forming my own opinion in this way? Am I really practicing my own discernment or am I simply borrowing and building off of others? Going out on my own feels scary to me, like I will only make the divide greater than before. I will contribute to the further disruption of the harmony that I’ve been working so hard towards. It doesn’t feel right.

Another idea…? Is that what the world needs?

Pulling information from outside myself first feels comforting since I know that this information is in some way valuable to the tribe. I am aligning with the tribe somewhere and I can achieve connection by simply understanding what they are saying and seeing their perspective. In doing so however, I am sabotaging my sense of self by choosing to align with their position first. How can I form a pure decision for myself if I am always checking in with others? I spent all this time developing my understanding of their position, but what is my position? I can’t seem to get theirs out of my head as I try to get at it.

When two ExxJs meet

This is where I am seeing myself struggling to feel truly confident in working independently on something for long periods of time. I fear others challenging my thoughts so I keep an awareness of what others might be thinking and how I can address and quell those concerns up front. Doing this however distracts from what I trying to accomplish in the first place. I’m not thinking, “what do I think?” but instead wondering, “what will they say?” While I might be discerning that for myself, I need to find the ability to trust in myself particularly in areas which concern me and me alone.

There are areas in our lives where we must choose for ourselves. What path should we follow? What impact do we wish to have on the world? I can let others tell me what I am good at or I can choose to be good at something and work towards it for myself. Do I wish to let others choose the kind of impact I am going to have or do I want to build that for myself? Carving out my own path sounds scary. What if I isolate myself from others? Am I capable on my own? I need to trust in myself to decide on a path that will be beneficial in the long run. I need to trust in myself to follow through and become something that others might not yet see me as. I need to transform from within and be the person I choose.

Walking the path towards my demons

These aren’t revolutionary ideas. The patterns of Objective Personality are often like that. We see these patterns and how others get trapped in them, but we can often struggle to see the bars around ourselves. When we step back though and begin to truly observe where we are we can begin to see these cages we are in and find our way out. To me, this is the point of typology and I break that down even further in my Typology Manifesto. Please check it out if you haven’t already. This path isn’t easy, but it has got to begin somewhere. Thanks for reading friend.

Related articles!

This video on Meghan Levota’s channel is what originally inspired me to write this article and make the video here. I highly recommend it if you are looking to learn more about Demon Ti and the challenges those of us with it are working through.

Growth Talk

I was on Growth Talk with DAVE OF ALL PEOPLE this weekend. We discussed my type and the ways in which I am trying to grow since learning my type, looking back at my childhood and the archetype I play in the world. What kind of impact am I having? Check it out below.

You can always check out all my interviews from other channels in this playlist as well.

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